http://www.myfoxhouston.com/dpp/news/finding_family/110623-adopting-siblings

Over the last number of years, the concept of “Life Coaching” has come to the forefront.  At one point, Christians called the action of sharing life and helping others see their true potential by a different name – “discipling.”  It’s not much different, if you really think about it.  The big difference is where is the value going to come from – either from the world or one’s self – or – from God and his word.

Emily and I have learned in recent years that our main desire is to help others – we want to see other people succeed and grow.  In relation to adoption, we want to see others consider adoption, and we want to see entire churches become passionate about the orphans of this world.  In a way, we want to bring people and churches along side of us on this quest to serve “the least of these.”

Adoption Coaching is a great way to describe that process.  For couples that are interested in learning more about adoption or need help along the way, we want to offer ourself and our experiences.  For churches looking to see how they can help with the orphans of this world or with women who simply need someone to help them in their time of crisis, we want to offer our time and talent – whether it be to teach a class, deliver a sermon on why adoption is integral to God’s kingdom, or whatever may be needed.  We want to help others consider adoption.

So, what do you think?  Is the idea of Adoption Coaching important?  Would you and others like you be interested in connecting with people that have some knowledge about the process of adoption?  Do you think your church would welcome us to talk with them about adoption?  Let us know by leaving a comment or using our Facebook or Twitter accounts.

Wednesday, Oct. 27-Oct. 31, AnchorSoul @ Faith Baptist Church, Youngsville, NC.
Faith Baptist Church holds an annual walk-through drama of over 100 cast members the week before Halloween.  This year, it is “The War of Realms” and is tagged, “A Haunted House Alternative Where Reality Is More Riveting Than Fantasy… ”  Why is GodSpotters part of the free event? One of the goals in this year’s drama is to raise awareness of opportunities for adoption and fostering.  We’ll be promoting domestic adoption, while other teams will present information on international adoption and fostering.  JOIN US!  Visit http://www.faithnc.org and click the AnchorSoul banner, or select AnchorSoul from the Engage menu.

Thursday, Oct. 28, Amazing Grace Adoptions Fundraising Banquet, Raleigh, NC.
We’ll be taking a break from AnchorSoul for one night to join with our friends at Amazing Grace Adoptions to not only raise awareness for adoption, but for the need for people to support local adoption agencies.  AGA is located in Raleigh, NC, but promotes adoption all over the world.  They serve both domestic and international adoption needs, and have a full staff of loving individuals.  The event starts at 6:30 and will be held at the Courtyard Raleigh-Crabtree Valley.

For more information on either of these events, just leave a comment – and we’ll get in touch!  You can also email us through our Contact Us page.

Adoption always raises questions in people’s minds.  Sometimes it’s curiosity about how the process works.  Sometimes it’s about the relationship between biological and non-biological parenthood.  For the rest of the summer, I’m going to spend time answering some of these questions.  Some are personal, so, we’ll do our best to present the answers in ways that help others understand that everyone should consider adoption.

This week’s question is another important one – “Is Adoption Expensive?”  It would be great to live in a world where money wasn’t an issue, but as we all know, it is important.  It’s so important that scripture discusses money more than 800 times – which makes it one of the single most talked about topics in scripture.

So, it’s no wonder that finances enter into nearly every story of adoption.  Here’s some basic information about what the expect.

• Most adoption agencies will charge based on the adoption placement.  Those expenses can range from $15,000 to $35,000.  Some agencies are funded by donors and are able to offer more help to those interested in adoption, lowering the placement fees.  However, be aware that the expenses that an adoption agency incurs to help support a birth mother and to process legal fees goes far beyond those charges.
• Early in your application to adopt, you will pay fees for background checks, various legal fees, and your home study.  The home study can vary based on the social worker’s fees and travel.  Ours was about $1,500.
• There are various sources of support.  Some groups will provide grants for those who meet their criteria.  Some groups will match funds that you raise through things like yard sales.  However, be aware that nearly all of these only provide for those in the window of time between a completed home study and the placement of the child in your home.  Since our window for grants was so narrow (in one instance, our agency called us the day after our home study was official with news of our new little girl!), we were unable to take advantage of the grants.  Also, keep in mind that often the grant organization is small – focusing on getting money to those needing it and not on administration, so you may find it hard to get in touch with them, and you may find they only make decisions on grants once a quarter.
• Financial help may be found in your church, your workplace or military service.  Don’t be afraid to ask and keep an eye out for any notices that help is available.  Often a company’s HR newsletter will highlight programs to support families, and adoption is often mentioned.  At least a few companies that we know of give support – some for a specific dollar amount, some for matching funds up to a specific amount.
• Domestic adoption is usually cheaper than international adoption.  This isn’t because of the greed of some countries – it’s usually because of travel expenses.  Adoption from Ethiopia will result in at least 2 trips – some lasting more than just a few days.  Some friends of ours were in Uganda for over a month waiting for their adoption to be cleared.
• The least expensive option for adoption is through the government.  State and local government encourages people to help in the foster care system and/or to adopt.  You may be required to take classes, but the expenses are minimal and usually covered in full by the government.  There are many advantages and disadvantages to state sponsored adoption – just like private adoption, so learn as much as you can before you pursue the avenue of your choice.
• After your child comes home, you’ll probably realize you don’t have everything you need, and in our case, the time from which you found out about your child and the time they came home may only be a day or so.  Consider having a baby shower after your child is placed to help out – make it a chance for everyone to meet your new arrival (if they are old enough for visitors).

So, adoption is wonderful and may be one of the costliest investments you make for your family.  We encourage you to start early, get on a budget and do as much as you can to tighten your family’s budgetary belt – especially because having children in the home will increase your expenses automatically.  Please consider visiting a financial planner if you need help or check out our favorite – Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com).

Good luck – if you know of other ways to help raise the funds necessary or additional information on expenses we missed, feel free to leave a comment below!

Learn more about the move by visiting www.likedandeliondust.com or search for it on Google.  Below is the YouTube trailer.

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2010/july/10.18.html

One friend posted this fun list on her facebook page that I think is great for adoptive families to read.  It’s just one of the reminders of how similar our stories are – whether we adopt from other countries like Russia and Ethiopia, or here in the U.S.

You Know You’re an Adoptive Parent if…
1. The fact that there are 143 million children without a parent to kiss them goodnight has made you lose sleep.
2. You realize DNA has nothing to do with love & family.
3. You can’t watch Adoption Stories on TLC without sobbing.
4. You spend your free time surfing blogs about families who’ve experienced the blessing of adoption.
5. It drives you crazy when people ask you about your adopted child’s “real” parents.
6. [For international adoptions] You’ve taken an airplane half-way around the world with a child you just met.
7. You believe that God has a heart for adoption.
8. You realize that welcoming a child into your heart and family is one of the most important legacies you could ever leave on this earth.
9. [For international adoptions] You know what the word “Dossier” means, and you can actually pronounce it correctly.
10. You’ve welcomed a social worker into the most private parts of your life.
11. You shudder when people say your child is so lucky that you adopted them, knowing full well that you are the blessed one to have him/her in your life.

No matter how you feel about the options available to women in difficult situations, the thought that it would be so extensively used is hard to fathom.  What drives a woman or a couple to make such a decision?  How hard it must be to feel such loss of hope, such misery, such deep anguish.  But, there is hope – and telling others in any way possible about adoption shares much of that hope.

So, the next time you hear someone say they don’t understand why anyone would give their child up for adoption, or why anyone would adopt a child – especially if they looked different or were born amid difficult situations, take note of what their objections are.  Make it your job to understand these issues and present a different viewpoint – with love, compassion and hopefully a bit of your own understanding.

“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the glorious grace he has poured out on us who belong to his dear Son.” Ephesians 1:4-6